My Thoughts
by RaeyvnRain
Summary: Same story I posted before...just a few changes...Chapter oneEmma's POV during Time stands still..Ch 3 now up!
1. Default Chapter

Degrassi---The Next Generation-----Different Characters thoughts during, and after the shooting, during Time Stands Still, Part II.

First up----Emma

I stood there in shock. I couldn't believe it. Rick? Gun? Those were the only comprehensible words in my mind. I'm sure of it.

Sean gripped my arm, and told me we should go, he had a gun....a gun....

"Don't turn away from me!" he shouted. I flinched, I'm sure of it. This is bad, really bad.

Slowly, Sean stepped in front of me. My mind raced. "Sean, Stop! What are you thinking? Don't." I wanted to say all that and more. My mouth must have been zipped closed, because no words, no sound would escape.

Rick was speaking again. through the loud buzzing in my head, I could hear it....vaguely....Too many thoughts, I can't....think....What about Mom? Dad? Baby Jack? Everyo------Wait did he just say he already shot someone?

Even more thoughts, and names floated around. Sean being one of them.

Maybe it was because he was in front of me, slowly inching his way towards Rick, and the gun......maybe it was our history..maybe even because I may sitill have feelings towards him.....But his name seemed to be the loudest, in my mind.

I felt a wet trail down my cheek, I guess I must have been crying,. Funny. I hadn't even realized it.

I watched in dazed horror as Rick raised the gun

He aimed it right at me. Fear raced through me.  
"He's goona shoot me. He's gonna kill me." Repeated over and over in my mind. Weird, I never thought I'd die like this. Never once. I never thought anyone would ever have that much hatred inside them, to want to kill a fellow student.

I guess I was wrong.

I wanted to close my eyes, to somehow make this all stop. Like when your having a nightmare? And you want to wake up, but you can't. It was exactly like that.

Then, it happened. Sean lunged for the gun. The two of them struggled for it. I couldn't believe it. I heard Toby yell something beside me. For the life of me, I have no idea what he said.

Then the gun went off.

"No!" I'm not sure if I said it aloud, or not.

Was Sean hurt? Or was it Rick? So much blood.......but whose was it?

Then Sean slowly stood. He had blood trailing down his arm. But then there was Rick, unmoving, lying on the ground.

And I knew, I just knew he was dead.  
No one spoke a word after that. I couldn't even tell you right now, what happened after that. It's still all a blur..

The next thing I remember is Mom and Dad being there. And I was sitting? Huh, when did that happen?

They tried, I know, to make me feel better. but the only thing I could think, the only thing I could say...

"He pointed the gun right at me."

Mr. Radich came in after that. Dad yelled at him. I flinched. It was anger that caused all of this. How could anyone still hold anger at a time like this? How?

Mom got them to stop, thankfully.

I felt Radich lay a hand on my shoulder, and say somethng about they needed to speak with everyone, and a mumbled "sorry."

Sorry? Sorry? I wanted to say, Sorry, won't make it go away. Sorry won't change things. Sorry wont make the image of Sean lunging for the gun go away. It won't make Jimmy ok. And it won't bring Rick back, It wont change the fact that it all could have been prevented, if only, they would have left Rick alone.

In the end, though, I said nothing.

We left, it was all over the news. I remember my words to Rick earlier that morning. "No one will ever forget who won." Yeah. Ironically enough, no one will EVER forget this.

Mom just says over and over, "Things that this don't happen at Degrassi, they just don't"

"You act like Degrassi's achieved Saint hood. It's a school." I hear myself say.

Then I hear Ashley, calling Rick a psycho. And every other horrible thing everyone said about him. This is what started this all.

And Toby, poor Toby, watched his best friend die today. Then had to hear his step sister saying those things.

"He was Toby's friend." I say after the door slams behind Toby.

I was worried about Toby, so I followed him, he went back to the school, they were making a small memorial there, against violence, For Jimmy. I stood next to Toby, an arm around his shoulder,

And together, we cried.


	2. Sean

**My Thoughts**

**By: Raeyvn Raine**

**Chapter 2: Sean

* * *

---Sean**

I looked up as everyone came running past us, as though the devil itself were on their heels. I looked to Emma and Toby, in confusion. Slowly, the three of us walk in the direction everyone was coming from. What I saw made my blood freeze.

Rick, walking slowly, as though he was disoriented, towards us. In his hand was a gun. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. Ever.

"Hi, Emma, Sorry, I kissed you." Kissed her?

I grabbed Emma's arm

"He has a gun. Let's go." I said quietly, as he advanced on us. The three of us turned, and began walking away. We all froze when we heard his voice again.

"Don't turn away from me!" We all turned back around. My mind raced. How do we get out of this?

"I'm glad I found you Emma. You made the list." List? God, he has a list? Who else is on it? Has he already.....?

"Rick, what are you doing?" I heard Toby ask.

He however, completly ignored him. His focus was still on Emma.

"You flirted with me" He continued." I thought you liked me. But that was something else."

Oh, god. We have got to get out of here! How?

Slowly, I stepped in front of Emma.

"Just put the gun down. Any thing else, is just going to make your life worse." I tried to reason.

"It can't get any worse." he replied.

Good, at least, temporarily, his focus was off Emma.

"Believe me, It can. We'll figure this out.Okay?" I said. I could see it in his eyes, his resolve wavered, slightly.

"Figure this out? It's too late." he said gravely

"No..." I shook my head slightly. It can't be too late.

"I've already shot someone." Someone? Who?

He raised the gun, and pointed it straight at Emma.

I had always wanted to make everything up to her. I never knew how. Maybe, this could be how. Maybe. I guess that could explain why I did what I did next. Maybe I wasn't thinking at all.

You know how everyone says your life flashes before your eyes? My life didn't. Flashes of Emma, when we first met, when she tried to stop me from fighting Jimmy, Her on her endless campaigns, Us breaking up, Her with that really bad perm, everything I could remember about her, flashed before my eyes.

Then I lunged for the gun. We struggled.

It went off.

Did I just....? No, that's ricks blood.

It wasn't for several minutes, that I felt a buring pain in my arm. Vaguely I realized that the bullet must have grazed my arm.

I stood up. There was blood on my hands.

Blood. On my. hands.

Thats' all I've been able to think about since. I can't even remember anything else.

* * *

I tried to tell it from Sean's POV, but he is a guy, and I am not. So it may be a little off....but I tried. Sorry if it is.

Read and Review.


	3. Toby

**My Thoughts**

**By:Raeyvn Rain**

**Chapter 3: Toby's POV

* * *

Time stands still-----Toby'sPOV**

I was shocked to see Rick back at school, and said as much to him. No one would say a word if he skipped out. If he stayed home.

"This is the only time, I actually want to be at school." He said to me

What does he mean by that? I hope he doesn't do something stupid.

If only, I had known.

I was standing at my locker when it happened, Emma and Sean were at their own lockers, by mine.

We heard a loud bang, then students came running past us. We all looked to one another. Sean, Emma, and I headed towards the sound.

Even now, I couldn't tell you why. Maybe a part of me knew it had something to do with Rick. We all looked between one another uncomfortably, knowing whatever it was, it had to be bad.

Oh how right we were.

I saw Rick walking slowly, a gun in his hand yellow paint and feathers, still covered his clothing and shoes.

It seemed so...unreal.

He looked up saw us. His gaze focused on Emma. My blood froze.

"He has a gun, let's go." Sean said quietly, and we all turned around to walk away.  
"Don't turn away from me!" he yelled.

I was frozen to the floor, as we all turned back around.

This IS NOT happening!

It seemed like it was going in slow motion, Sean stepped in front of Emma.

He tried to talk Rick out of it. He looked almost successfull.

Until Rick raised the gun, and pointed it at Emma.

No.No.No.NO.NO.NO.NONO!

I don't even think I was breathing at that point.

Next thing I know, Sean's fighting Rick for control of the gun.

Then, it went off. I didn't know who had gotten shot.

Then Sean slowly stood. And Rick was left. Lifeless, on the ground. I wasn't sure if he was alive or dead.

And I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. I didn't know what to do. I turned away. I couldn't take it anymore.

Later, I sat in the library, while they asked questions.

Were there any signs? What was his motive? Was he picked on?

How about, I don't know, Maybe. Maybe I didn't want to see the signs. Or maybe, I just thought it would be another day, full of teasing, and abuse, and him just letting it all go. Just coping. Motive? the same. Picked on? Understatement of the century.

Then he called him my friend

"He wasn't my friend! He was a psycho!" I denied. Why? I don't know. Maybe I just didn't want to admit that one of my friends could do that? I just don't know.

I mechanically went through the rest of the day. It was as though I wasn't there, like I was going through the motions, sort of detached?

It was all over the news. It was too hard to watch. And yet, I couldn't not watch And then Ash. She just had to say those things. It was the last straw. I had to get out of there. I felt like I was suffocating. I walked. Aimlessly. Unsure where I was going.

I ended up back outside Degrassi. Watching as others, light candles. set up signs. Set up pictures of Jimmy.

Jimmy. He could be dead, for all I know. And it was my friend that did that.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't even have to look to know it was Emma. I turned into her after a moment.

And we cried, together.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews, from when I origanally posted, and now!

R&R


End file.
